Wedding planning can be a minefield — especially when navigating the politics of wedding etiquette in 2022. Here, we cover all the wedding etiquette rules every bride-to-be should know and answer your dilemmas.

Who should pay? Should you have a free bar? Should guests test for Covid? These are just some of the most common dilemmas brides face in 2022.

11 wedding etiquette dilemmas and rules every bride-to-be should know

Industry expert Lisa Forde, who founded her wedding stationery business Tree of Hearts nearly two decades ago, has seen it all and is here to answer all your wedding etiquette woes.

What’s the best way to ask for cash instead of gifts at your wedding?

Many couples wonder how to ask for money without sounding rude, but also don’t want to end up with a pile of unwanted gifts — and it can be a difficult conversation to navigate.

Because many couples live together before tying the knot, they often have all of the household essentials that are traditionally brought as wedding gifts. That’s where gift list registrations like Prezola come in, as you can specify exactly what you’ll be spending the money on — be it a new sofa or honeymoon fundraiser!

You could even go a step further and specify the exact activities you want the money to pay for during your honeymoon — whether it’s a private dinner or a kayak trip. Your guests will then know exactly what they are contributing to and feel they have given you a more personal gift.

Should the happy couple top up the expenses or should the parents pay for the day?

Whether or not the bride’s parents should pay for her wedding has become quite a controversial topic! Traditionally, the bride’s parents would pay for her entire wedding and reception. But with the average wedding now costing more than £32,000 and couples getting married later in life, many couples are paying for their weddings themselves – but often with a little help from family members.

For parents who choose to contribute, research shows that the bride’s parents typically contribute around 45%, while the groom’s parents contribute around 15%. You may also find that other relatives such as grandparents, aunts and uncles also want to contribute; You can choose to pay for a specific element of the wedding like the wedding stationery.

Should the bride’s father still “give her away” in 2022 and should she take her husband’s name?

These traditions are based on ancient Roman times and the days of arranged marriages when women were considered property. It symbolizes the father’s act of literally giving his daughter to a new owner – usually for a price! Of course women are not considered property in the 21st century and there is no reason for a father to “give” his daughter to another man – let alone for money!

However, it is still a very common tradition that many 21st century brides cling to. Today it can be seen more as a sign of respect for your father or a way to include him in the celebrations. Another similar tradition that some 21st century brides have struggled with is taking their partner’s surname, again historically symbolic of the bride being given to a new family or owner.

Many couples may choose to continue this tradition in 2022, others have adapted it to suit their own needs. For example, duplicate a surname to represent a merger of two families, or even mix names together to create a brand new surname.

Should you offer your guests a free bar?

This of course depends on the budget, and while it’s a nice addition, it’s certainly not what guests expect at weddings today. Some couples may choose to only have certain drinks free — like wine and beer instead of spirits or cocktails — to save on costs but still offer an element of a free bar.

Covid and weddings – are you asking guests to test?

Nobody wants to hear the words Covid and wedding in one sentence – and it’s understandable why brides-to-be are concerned after the impact of the pandemic on the industry over the past two years.

Though restrictions have been lifted and there are no laws for those organizing or attending weddings, some engaged couples are still considering asking guests to take a test just to be on the safe side.

Perhaps you have elderly relatives or at-risk family members at your wedding that you want to feel comfortable with when socializing with others, and asking people to test themselves can give them reassurance. However, you must be prepared for the fact that guests might refuse to test themselves – and be prepared to decide what to do if they do.

Who is at the top of the table? Does it have to be the parents or can it be the wedding party?

Table plans can be one of the most stressful parts of wedding planning – you need to make sure your guests are with someone they know and like. You’ll also have to deal with the politics of who sits at the “top table” next to you and your new husband or wife.

According to tradition, it is the parents of the bride and groom, as well as the best man and maid of honor. But when you add stepparents and siblings, things can get tricky.

We’re seeing a huge increase in what’s been called the “favorite table” where just the two of you sit. This concept avoids awkward arguments about who makes the cut and offers a blissful opportunity to actually have some quality one-on-one time with your new spouse on the happiest day of your life. At the end of the day, it’s your wedding and the choice is yours. Who do you want to sit next to you on your big day?

What should you do when a major sporting event or TV moment collides with your wedding?

Unfortunately, big sports games often take place on a Saturday – and so do weddings! If you and your partner are both soccer fans, could you enjoy the fun and ask your venue for a screen to show the game? You might even have some bubbles ready to toast the team and yourself at the end.

If you’re a die-hard fan, it’s easy to add lots of little football touches to your day – whether that’s mini chocolate footballs as wedding favors, having your bellboy in football boots, throwing some kickabout games outside, or even playing Football’s Coming Home. during your evening!

If you don’t want to have the match or TV show play out, you still have to accept that it’s happening — but if it’s during your reception, then it might be an idea to nominate a member of the bridal party or your MC to host the Space to keep you posted on any goals or updates (FYI, the Euros will be held from June 14th to July 14th, 2024!).

Guest List: Do you invite partners of guests and their children?

Weddings are more expensive than ever, and that means engaged couples are making difficult decisions when it comes to cutting costs – one of which is making decisions about the number of guests. Micro weddings have been introduced during the pandemic, but more and more couples are choosing to downsize their wedding guest lists for many reasons.

Make sure you really to need Inviting the partners of your friends you’ve never met just because it’s wedding etiquette—as well as their children. Maybe they’re looking forward to a free evening! While this can lead to some really tough decisions and conversations, it’s worth it if you need to cut costs or just want to have your loved ones with you. Remember to make the invitation very clear to avoid confusion, and use friendly but firm language – like “We love your little ones, but this is an adults-only event”!

Who is doing the speeches?

The bride’s father, groom, and best man are traditionally responsible for delivering speeches, and there is a set format to be followed in terms of the order of speeches and who must be thanked as part of each speech.

But in 2022, it’s more common than ever for the bride, mother of the bride or groom, maid of honor or bridesmaids to also give speeches. It’s your day after all!

How should people sit at the ceremony?

Traditionally, the bride’s family sits to the left of the aisle and the groom to the right at the ceremony.

However, it’s very common these days for couples to have an open seating plan, where guests “choose a seat, not a side.” This goes hand in hand with the feeling of two families becoming one.

How am I supposed to walk down the aisle?

It is traditional for the bride’s father to lead her down the aisle, or if he is unable to do so, a close family friend, brother or uncle. In 2022, however, it’s more common than ever for the bride to take a walk with her mother—or alone—if her father isn’t there for the day.

If you want to stick to tradition, the bride always walks on the left of her escort, leaving his right hand free to draw his sword to protect her, as tradition says! When she walks to the altar she will be on her family’s side for support, and when she returns on her new husband’s arm she will be on his side of the church and symbolically introduced into his family.

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