Wedding planning can be a minefield; There are so many traditions to consider, many family members to please, and some etiquette in dealing with the events of the day. With Pride Month celebrating 50 years this June and more LGBTQ+ couples planning their big day than ever before, we share seven things to consider when planning your same-sex wedding.

What if there is no rule book? Same-sex marriages are fairly new in the UK, having only become legal in 2014. For LGBTQ+ couples planning their big day, wedding expert and founder of stationery favorite Tree of Hearts, Lisa Forde says it’s about doing what feels right for you as a couple. Discover her top tips below.

7 things to consider when planning a same-sex wedding

“A wedding is about celebrating the special love you have for each other. So if anything that’s considered a “wedding tradition” doesn’t make sense or feels dated, you can just ignore it,” says Lisa.

“The only part of a wedding you need to do is officially word the vows if you want to make it legal, everything else after that is left to personalization.

“Everything from the first dance to cutting the cake to throwing the bouquet can be customized to suit your personality and budget, so be creative and have fun. You never know, you might just be creating a new LGBTQ+ wedding tradition that other couples will enjoy for years to come.”

Mix and match your pre-wedding celebrations

If you have a lot of friends and family in common and mingle in similar social circles, you may want to combine your bachelor or bachelorette party to avoid inviting the same people to two events.

Combining parties can also be a lot more fun. You’re marrying your other half, so she’s probably your favorite person to party with anyway!

Bypass traditional gendered marriage roles

The familiar, traditional wedding party leaves – bride, groom, best man, maid of honor, ushers and bridesmaids. These are really gendered roles and they don’t really represent many marriages in 2022.

Many same-sex weddings have a mix of male and female attendants instead. However, without the classic labels, you need to make sure everyone in your group knows what’s expected of them.

If you haven’t named anyone your “best man” or “maid of honour,” you need to make sure someone arranges your bachelor or bachelorette party, the same when it comes to speeches.

Walk down the aisle

If you can’t decide who’s walking down the aisle and who’s waiting upstairs, or just don’t like the idea of ​​sticking to this tradition, then don’t.

There are many other options, including walking down the aisle together, walking down the aisle individually with a parent or friend to “give you away” (supporting you), or neither of you walking down the aisle and just being there the Ceremony Room to greet everyone on your guest list.

hug the rainbow

If white isn’t your color or seems a bit conservative to you, then have fun with colors instead. Go as bright and bold as you like with your outfits and wear what you feel comfortable in.

The same goes for your wedding decorations – at same-sex weddings, it can be fun to use a rainbow theme as a symbol of LGBTQ+ pride.

changing your name

In typical wedding traditions, the bride takes the groom’s last name, and although many modern heterosexual couples in today’s world choose to break this “rule,” the question of who takes whose name after the big day is in the planning of your wedding into account.

You can either mix the two names together to create an entirely new name that is special and unique to you, double-barrel your names, or simply keep your own names to emphasize your individuality.

They talk

The traditional order of speech is: father of the bride, groom and best man. But in the 21st century, more and more couples are getting this mixed up — you can have as many or as few speeches from different members of the wedding party as you like.

Regardless of who is speaking, remember to ask your wedding party to keep them short and fun so they don’t go on too long and you don’t bore your guests.

How about a joint couples speech at your same-sex wedding if you both feel brave enough to speak publicly?

Do what makes you happy

The general rule when planning a wedding is to put yourself and your partner first – try to block out the noise from family members or friends and instead focus on what you want and what you enjoy.

Fancy a pizza truck instead of a three-course wedding breakfast? Do it! Want to set off fireworks when you share your first kiss as a married couple? Do it!

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